If I could design a school curriculum, it would center on techniques to integrate humanity into our future role as the serving caste of our magnificent raptor overlords. There would be classes on the history of raptoria, raptorian grammar, and classes on raptoirian technology, that the most intelligent amongst us might be able to understand given adequate time and instruction (it is, after all, the most advanced technology in the known universe.)
There are many ways to ensure that all material taught is learned properly. The techniques that are to be most commonly employed by our supreme raptor overlords will be shock therapy and practical application. This of course means that if you fail to grasp the basics of living as a member of the serving caste in Raptorian society after the two mandatory sessions of shock therapy scheduled for all pending raptorian citizens, you will be fed to the ravenous young of the raptor overlords. If you fail to learn Raptor after two mandatory sessions of shock therapy, you will be fed to the young of our raptor overlords. And if you fail your technology class, you will be barred from enrolment in their computer technician program. Then you shall be fed to the young of our raptor overlords.
And scheduling is the beauty of it. After your first two lessons, there is no more need for education, as one is either a productive and valued member of the raptorian serving caste, pursuing education in one of a number of non-serving caste careers, or has been rendered into sustenance for the young of our glorious raptor overlords. As such, the lessons themselves shall proceed as follows: All applicants pending Raptorian citizenship will receive a brain implant which provides all the requisite knowledge necessary to live as a productive member of the raptorian serving caste. Those who are intelligent enough to recall the majority of the information provided after the two mandatory shock therapy sessions, will be allowed to become a member of the raptorian serving caste. Those students who exhibit significant intelligence may be allowed to receive additional education in a non-service field at the discretion of or magnanimous raptor overlords.
Homework is, for obvious reasons, not a necessity in the regular raptorian classes. Those intelligent enough to seek alternative education after the basic courses shall recieve a significant amount of homework. These assignments are usually meted out by the course instructor and are designed to serve as a final test as well as homework average. Those unable to complete their assignments and /or unable to meet course requirments will be lobotomized and made into slave-servitors.
So work well and quickly. Do what is commanded of you, and do your best to further the interests of our raptor overlords, and everything will be just fine. Raptoria is the happiest and most advanced utopia in the known universe, untouched by disease, strife, poverty, and death. It is a shining beacon of enlightenment amidst the darkness of the void
All hail our Raptor overlords, and the great society of Raptoria! Praise be to Vog!
(eeek-hruuk awrkaer minckt tureek erwaaak!)
Sunday, May 16, 2010
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