Earliest Memories

My earliest memory is that of my fifth birthday party. I was skinny back then, energetic and open minded. The world was my oyster, and the people I knew weren't trying to use my person as a tool to accomplish their own ends, nor I using theirs for my own. I wore thick, square, plastic rimmed nerd glasses. I was curious about all aspect of the world, and had the capacity to devour and learn anything and everything my family's limited resources could throw my way. It was a good time, a simpler time. But all of that pales in comparison to the reason I have kept this most cherished of memories. I would have a special surprise that day. Perhaps the greatest in the history of all male five year celebrations of birth.

You see, it was a bright autumn evening, early enough that the sun hadn't yet set, but cool enough for a long sleeved flannel (is there any other kind?). My birthday is in October, quite near hallows eve, so the decorations (and cake frosting) were resplendent in orange and black. I was standing on a crate ready to blow out the candles and make another optimistic childhood wish, when the greatest moment of my life (up to that point) occurred. BATMAN walked in! Frigging' BATMAN! Now, in case you did not know this, BATMAN is my favorite superhero evar. He was giant! Six foot tall, muscular, and he had a beer gut. Of course, in my excitement I failed to notice that last detail (which might just ave tipped me off to the cruel ruse that was afoot). But come on, how many times a day does BATMAN (or anyone vaguely dressed like BATMAN, for that matter) just up and walk into your house?

Now if you think this was exciting, that has nothing on his next actions. He proceeded to take me to the roof of my own house where he had set up an extensive zip line system, allowing myself and my three other guests under the weight limit of sixty pounds to rappel down to the ground in what can only be described as the most dangerously exciting moments of my entire life. Now I was BATMAN for all the world knew. And for three hours, my life was perfect.

But lo, good reader, it was not to last. The tale I tell today shall not be one of happiness, but a tragedy rife with heartbreak , and stories of innocence lost. For at the end of the party, BATMAN lifted his all concealing mask and revealed himself to be not Bruce Wayne (President and CEO of Wayne Industries) , but an old family friend by the name of Roberto (we called him "tio", a Latin based honorific roughly translatable to uncle). Needless to say, I was utterly crushed for the nextfive minutes. Then I came to my senses , and found a deep apreciativeness for what he had done for me. Also, I got to keep the BATMAN suit (which is now torn and too small for me). The lessson here is of course that, "Its not the friends you have that count, It the memories you make with them."

-sholan out
(rappelling from a skyscraper)