Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Alooooone...

How am I at being alone you ask? Lucky joyous day for you! Alon-ness is one of my major sub-specialities, right after food and impotent rage. Sad as it may sound, I am often alone. I live amongst a hive of the idiotic, and do not mean that with any sarcasm or ill intention. It is simply a fact. See I'm pretty smart (I say so now without hubris, having been unable to say that at many points in my life before) and most of the people in Seaside Heights are not. See Jersey Shore for more detail. This has caused me much torment and frustration, nourishing in me the most socially-withered of introverts. So being alone? For most of my life, I only ever wanted to be alone.
Now that I have to deal with people on a daily basis, I find that perhaps my social skills weren't so terrible after all. I do enjoy the company of others, but I don't like having it foisted upon me. That's why my current situation works out so well. I have almost no close friends in Seaside, and mostly interact with the people here only when I am forced to. They are indifferent and leave me alone. Which I like. When I feel like seeing someone, having an intelligent conversation, or hanging out, I usually go to Bayville or Bricktown, wherein reside most of my friends/ acquaintances.
I don't necessarily wish for more or less alone time. I certainly wish I had more time to do things, but that's another matter. When I am alone, I usually read or think. Yes my procrastination does actually spread to things I enjoy doing, so I cannot claim that my hobby or my video games occupy most of my time. It's just sitting in my house, reading or thinking. While this does sound boring, I find that good books almost never are. And the human mind is an absolutely incredible thing for those of us using it, so just try asking yourself a question and come up with as many deeply detailed answers as you can. Sure way of entertaining yourself for a few hours at least.
So while I don't like being either alone, or being surrounded by friends, there is one thing that my alone time does give me that I am certain many of the people I know are without. I have a sense of calm in my life. I worry about things, and have deadlines to meet, like normal people (though I only rarely meet them). However, I try to move at my own pace. Most of the time I succeed and the pace, while slow, is matched perfectly to my capabilities. Besides, I need to be able to plan frequently to move at my own pace; and if there is one thing being alone gives you, it is time to plan.

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